It's Amazing What Can Happen In The Supermarket
by ijustwanttobeabritishman
Summary: John's trip to the supermarket goes awry when aliens begin getting involved.
1. In which John Watson goes shopping

"Oh, for god's sake,' John moaned, stretching his arm up as high as it would go, grasping desperately for the jar of raspberry jam he knew was on the top shelf, just out of sight. His fingers scrabbled along the dusty wooden shelf. Empty.

John sighed, retracting his hand.

A deafening _BANG _ran through the supermarket, rattling the jars on the shelf to the point where one fell off its shelf, smashing on the ground. John winced, knowing he'd probably have to pay for that.

_BANG_

John was blown off his feet, careening into a shelf of pasta as a second explosion tore apart the supermarket.

"Doctor!" someone yelled. John whirled around, looking wildly around for the source of the noise. If someone needed a doctor, if someone was injured-

"I'm right here, Amy! Don't- _oof!_ Don't worry!"

John frowned, confused, before decided to get up and inspect the damage done to the store. He looked down, and saw that two shelves had collapsed over his legs, pinning them to the ground. The army doctor shoved his arms behind him and pushed as hard as he could, but they wouldn't budge.

Something _moved_ past his right arm. John whipped his head around, eyes tearing through the wreckage, searching for-

"_Well, well, well… What do we have here?"_ a voice hissed in John's ear. It sent a cold cascade of ice tumbling down his stomach. _"A little snack, do we?"_

John felt something long and wet trail up his face, accompanied with the smell of something so grotesque it must have come from Sherlock's half of the fridge because nothing could smell like that; it didn't even smell like it belonged on the _planet-_

He turned his head and came face to face with a ten meter long… _creature._ Yellow eyes bore into John's, and the thing that had to be a mouth opened slowly, revealing long, glistening fangs dripping with saliva. At least three rows of razor sharp teeth pointed at John, who flicked his eyes back to the creature's.

John screamed. The creature gave a tremendous roar, and surged down, eyes never leaving John's.


	2. In which Sherlock Holmes texts

_Message from: __**John Watson**_

_Sherlock? –JW_

_Message from: __**John Watson**_

_Sherlock! –JW_

_Message sent to__**: John Watson**_

_What is it? This had better be important. –SH_

_Message from: __**John Watson**_

_Oh, thank god. Listen, can you help me? –JW_

_Message sent to: __**John Watson**_

_Why? I'm assuming you're not drunk, judging by the fact that you can still type properly. -SH_

_Message from: __**John Watson**_

_Look, I don't have much time to explain. -JW_

_Message sent to: __**John Watson**_

_Where are you? Are you hurt? –SH_

_Message from__**: John Watson**_

_Not yet. -JW_

_Message from: __**John Watson**_

_Look for a man who calls himself The Doctor. That's all I can tell you. –JW_

_Message sent to: __**John Watson**_

_That's a vague title. Where can I find this "Doctor"? –SH_

_Message from__**: John Watson**_

_I don't know. But the only thing they'll say is "Where is The Doctor"? –JW_

_Message from: __**John Watson**_

_Going by that, I'm assuming he's important. –JW_

_Message from: __**John Watson**_

_He might be able to help me. –JW_

_Message sent to__**: John Watson**_

_What do you mean? Where are you? Who is "they"? Are you in danger? –SH_

_Message sent to:__** John Watson**_

_John? –SH_

_Message from__**: John Watson**_

_I can't talk anymore; they'll see I've got my phone. Just find The Doctor. –JW_


	3. In which there's a crash landing at 221B

Sherlock frowned as his phone ceased buzzing. The Doctor? Hm.

_CRASH_

The entire front window was shattered as something large came hurtling into the living room, knocking over John's chair. Sherlock's first thought was _Oh, now I'll have to replace that again. Shame._

"Sherlock Holmes!" someone bellowed through the dust. "Is here anyone named Sherlock Holmes here?"

"I'm Sherlock Holmes," Sherlock said calmly. "Who are you? Why have you crashed a-" Sherlock glanced at the strange object planted in the middle of the room- "Police box in my living room? And more importantly, do you know of anyone who goes by 'The Doctor'?"

There was a small pause.

Then a man walked out of the dust, waving it away with his hand.

"How do you know about me?" the man asked, cocking his head.

"It's all John gave me," Sherlock replied, shrugging. "Tell me, alien, where I can find my John."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"John," Sherlock corrected. "His captors are asking for 'The Doctor'."

"Right," The Doctor said slowly. "And you know this because…"

"He texted me," Sherlock said simply, holding out his phone. The Doctor took it, immediately slipping off the back cover. He inspected the battery for a moment, then handed it back to Sherlock.

"You haven't got universal roaming; he must still be on earth."

"On earth. Right. I'm assuming your… ship travels in time?" Sherlock remarked, sliding the cover back with a _click._

"Of course she does," The Doctor said, as if he'd been highly offended.

"And space?" Sherlock prompted.

"Well, she _is_ a _spaceship,_" The Doctor said slowly.

"Right," Sherlock said, walking over to the blue police box and stepping inside. The Doctor waited behind, holding his breath. Sherlock turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Are you coming? Or do I have to figure out how to fly this thing all by myself?"

"You're not going to comment on its size?" The Doctor whines.

"Why would I?"

The Doctor lets out a huff. "You're no fun."


End file.
